Ricky

Thinking Out Loud! 

It’s been so cool being able to talk to you and be open. 
Yeah, this friendship as u call it lol has definitely changed. I don’t know how i fully feel about that just yet. BUT, I do know I need u in my life in one way or the other… 

This way seems to work better… For both of us! I am sorry that I let the old emotion show yesterday- maybe a part of me really does still have us in my heart so I let it hurt me… 

I’m truly trying to change. I don’t want to be that person anymore. I won’t be perfect but I had no confidence when I was with u. I’m finding it now and I love it. 

I have fun in life, daily now! Laughing and being happy is what life is about. I need to work on my bluntness but I don’t like shit sugar coated and I guess I just expect people to be like that with me too. 

Anyway… Happy Saturday! 

Blink of an eye

Today was one of those days that I never should have left the house… At one point, I thought I liked change. New things, or old things, just changed around a little. But now I’m realizing I don’t like change. 

We form relationships with people that we don’t even realize are forming. Two souls meet and connect on a spiritual level and become connected, in a sense. And for whatever length of time these two souls are connected they learn off each other. 

Then, one day, that connection is shaddered! These two souls will never connect on that same frequency again. Lives have been changed. Spirits broken. You knew it was coming, but didn’t truly want to believe it.  

That day is today! ūüíĒ 

Do you ever really know someone?!?

This has been on my mind for a while now and maybe putting this out in to the universe will make me feel better about it or get feedback with advice- I have known this person for roughly 12-13 years. I can’t say this person plays a big part in my life but this person definitely has space in my life. This is nothing romantic or anything like that. When I first learned of this person I could not stand them and that feeling was very mutual- Fast forward several years and here we are today.

This person and I are good friends or so I thought. I guess I can’t really say we aren’t good friends but I have learned that a lot of it is a lie. I am fully aware that people only tell you things they want you to know and I guess I wanted to believe in this person so much that I didn’t allow my mind to believe anything more. This person is a very good person but has some major dark demons. Since I have learned of these demons, honestly, I still don’t want to believe it, but looks like I will have to.¬†In a way I look at this person differently. I am not judging this person in anyway and understand that people have to do what they have to do to survive but this is something I never thought this person would do.

But, what I don’t understand is why. I haven’t confronted this person with the knowledge that I now have and honestly, I don’t think I will. If this person wanted me to know these things they would have told me. I guess I just want to understand why. Why did this person choose this for their life. Did something happen when they were younger to lead them to where they are today? Does this person just not love themselves enough to know they deserve better and can definitely do better? I just don’t understand why someone would choose that life to live.

If you can’t tell it bothers me tremendously. I don’t know if I should confront this person and let them know what I know or if I should just keep letting this person think I am dumb and believe only what they have told me?!? Life is a struggle and everyone has their own battles no matter how it may look to someone else. Most importantly, I just want this person to know that no matter what life they lead I would never turn my back on them and I would never be disappointed in the person that they are..

Is It Time To Date?!?

I have been out of the dating scene for well over six years now, and I get that it has changed a LOT since I was younger. I am definitely more selective with whom I ¬†give my time to and allow in to my world and that is for a few different reasons. I definitely lost myself in my last “relationship” and it has taken some time to find myself¬†and what I truly want.¬†As I slowly find myself again and become less of a homebody I am learning new things and meeting new people. Normally It takes me a while to meet someone but I am learning that is wasting my time so I am working on that.

I am not big on dating websites, most of the time they are there to find a chick, meet, and let laid and let me tell you I am definitely NOT the chick for you. I am old fashioned that way and will make someone wait as long as I need to¬†make sure it’s not just about sex. Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely a sexual person and they will not be disappointed when it finally happens but then I think, will I be disappointed? What if it’s just not satisfying or I’m just not in to him like that. There are several different situations that could happen.¬†I am beginning to believe I have OCD when it comes to this.

BUT,¬†the time has come that I need to get out there and date so¬†I went on a date this past Saturday.¬†Dude was cool and¬†we had a good time. The thing is¬†I have no patience. Like at all- I get annoyed when dudes say they are looking for one thing but then end up actually wanting something else. I’m not here to toot my own horn, but I am a pretty good catch and by telling me one thing and wanting another you are wasting my time! Now, I agree, I definitely need to work on my patience and learn to not just cut people off but come on! It takes me a while to actually meet up with a dude and go on a date, so all this time of phone conversation and texting and what not, did it not occur to you to maybe mention a few other things.!?! Apparently not lol

Honestly, I have no idea if anyone even reads my blog and that’s cool- I just want some feedback as to where you meet people at? What are some of your experiences dating? What do you look for in a person and what are some things that you absolutely will not put up with? In a weird way, I am all about dating now and meeting people and hearing their take on things and how they envision things. Everyone is so different and that is what¬†intrigues me.

I’m back!

Hey WordPress world!! I’ve been MIA for a while- getting things situated in my life and focusing on myself! I won’t bore u with details so follow me in Instagram for funnies, pics and updates of my new crazy silly life!! 

IG: Ms.ldy._

I’ve Been…

I’ve been hurt, I’ve been broken, I’ve been devastated, I’ve been broken hearted, but no matter what I’ve alway bounced back..

At times it may have taken me longer than it had before, but when you allow yourself to step outside of the issue and see it for what it truly is, it makes it that much easier to rebuild yourself and put yourself back together the way YOU want. I refuse to let my hurt and my brokenness control my life anymore. I’m too good of a person to allow that..

This last bought of brokenness has truly made me learn who I am and what I want for ME. I LOVE the person I am becoming and that’s because I am fighting my ass off to become her. Sure I have set backs and bumps in the road, but I refuse to let that define me and stop me. When you give up you are allowing yourself failure and failure is something that is not in my vocabulary!

I’m on a pretty awesome journey and finding the confidence and love for myself that I have lacked for many many years. If you want to follow my journey you can, I’m on Instagram @jodisfitjourney I love helping people and if I can inspire or help change just one person then I know I am doing my job! I want to see everyone succeed!

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