This has been on my mind for a while now and maybe putting this out in to the universe will make me feel better about it or get feedback with advice- I have known this person for roughly 12-13 years. I can’t say this person plays a big part in my life but this person definitely has space in my life. This is nothing romantic or anything like that. When I first learned of this person I could not stand them and that feeling was very mutual- Fast forward several years and here we are today.
This person and I are good friends or so I thought. I guess I can’t really say we aren’t good friends but I have learned that a lot of it is a lie. I am fully aware that people only tell you things they want you to know and I guess I wanted to believe in this person so much that I didn’t allow my mind to believe anything more. This person is a very good person but has some major dark demons. Since I have learned of these demons, honestly, I still don’t want to believe it, but looks like I will have to. In a way I look at this person differently. I am not judging this person in anyway and understand that people have to do what they have to do to survive but this is something I never thought this person would do.
But, what I don’t understand is why. I haven’t confronted this person with the knowledge that I now have and honestly, I don’t think I will. If this person wanted me to know these things they would have told me. I guess I just want to understand why. Why did this person choose this for their life. Did something happen when they were younger to lead them to where they are today? Does this person just not love themselves enough to know they deserve better and can definitely do better? I just don’t understand why someone would choose that life to live.
If you can’t tell it bothers me tremendously. I don’t know if I should confront this person and let them know what I know or if I should just keep letting this person think I am dumb and believe only what they have told me?!? Life is a struggle and everyone has their own battles no matter how it may look to someone else. Most importantly, I just want this person to know that no matter what life they lead I would never turn my back on them and I would never be disappointed in the person that they are..